Ambition {It's a pretty sexy thing}

Ever since I can remember I have been told I am an intimidating person. I always thought that was the most absurd statement ever.

Me? Intimidating? Are you joking?

5th grade Orchestra Concert

For those of you who haven't known me long let me explain something about my "development". I hit 5'4" when I was 10 years old. I weighed well over 100 pounds then too. In the fifth grade. I towered over people then, but after a few years, I stayed the same and everyone else got way taller. Now, wherever I go I am the runt! Besides gaining quite a bit of meat on my bones I basically haven't changed since the fifth grade (i.e. no boobs, ever). So, as an adult that is pretty average sized and could even be considered small, hearing that I was intimidating seemed pretty dumb. Yet, people used that excuse as an explanation as to why I didn't date or why I didn't just easily make friends right off the bat. I never understood it and whenever someone would use it I would get angry. Literally seeing red, steaming out of my ears, angry. I'm sure people had the best intentions when trying to give me this excuse but I hated it with every part of me.

5th grade field trip to California

I thought about it all the time. Why was I intimidating? How could I become less intimidating? I struggled with this for a while because I really thought it was the way I looked. I didn't ever consider myself pretty or all that desirable growing up (but we will save those issues for another post) so I convinced myself that "intimidating" meant I looked mean or unattractive, like all the time.

Until one day I figured out what intimidating really meant.

I didn't look mean (though I do have a serious case of RBF) and I didn't scare people. Intimidating (or at least how I now interpret it) meant that I live in a way that is bigger than other people are used to. I have hopes and dreams that outweigh regular priorities. Basically, I know what I want with my life and I'm not afraid to go after it with everything I have.

My dreams, though they do include them, don't stop at a husband and a family. I want to be educated in my field of choice through a masters and eventually a PhD. I want to have a career while having a family and I want someone that will support me in all of this. I have always wanted this and I have always worked hard towards these goals, without stopping.

I am ambitious. and I won't apologize for that in any way shape or form. I don't care that my life isn't like an average 21 year old girls life. I'm not sorry that I'm not married yet or even dating anyone. I absolutely will not apologize for having a successful life on my own and I will not lower myself to make other people comfortable.

I hope that one day when I am raising my daughters, they will know that it is okay to be this way, that it is okay to have dreams and goals that are larger than life and that they will have enough confidence in themselves to carry out those plans no matter who tells them that they can't. I am grateful that I have gained this confidence despite my doubts and insecurities early on in my life. Confidence and self worth are such an important, if not the most important, things to teach girls {and boys} when they are young. I have been blessed with the knowledge of exactly who I am and what I am capable of in this life and I love myself now more than ever as I have started to really become the person I always knew I was capable of being.

I am 21 years old. In 16 months I will graduate with a double bachelors of science in psychology and social work. I am a 2 time national champion cheerleading coach. I have a career that I love. I've had my heart broken and I survived. And I know exactly who I am and what I want from my life.

I am ambitious, and if you don't think that is sexy as hell, you can leave.

Love,

Bless Puberty

6th Grade (???)

The Cat Lady




















!!!SIDE NOTE!!! Check out my brothers new project, Midpoint Lifestyle , It is seriously going to be such a cool movement. Stay tuned for stories from other awesome people and of course my own take on the Midpoint Lifestyle! (I will let you know when I am featured)